Making Meat in Kingdom of Loathing

Playing the mall and investing and selling goods is one way to make meat in KoL. Searching for popular items where you can resell can turn you a good profit. Items of the Month often make an excellent investment and often see a rise in price when the month is up. Making money from the mall is a huge topic on its own and can require a lot of investment and capital.

The Bank of KoL offers a simpler means of providing a return on your meat, giving a regular interest rate. This lets your meat grow without any requirement for you to keep scouring the mall for bargains.

The focus of this article is what gear to wear and where to adventure to give you the best resource for meat farming. There are some things you will want to achieve before you begin farming for meat in KoL. A few ascensions can help your meat farming hugely. Some of the skills that are worth picking up are:

• Seal Clubber: Musk of the Moose
• Turtle Tamer: Amphibian Sympathy
• Pastamancer: Leash of Linguini
• Sauceror: Expert Panhandling

You will want your last KoL ascension, when you are planning to farm meat, to be as a Disco Bandit, under the Packrat moon sign. This lets you Pickpocket, use Disco Nirvana in combat and also gives you access to a number of other skills, which you do not have to make permanent, but which are worth having while meat farming. Be sure to pick up:

Disco Bandit Skills:

• Disco Dance of Doom
• Nimble Fingers
• Disco Dance II: Electric Boogaroo
• Mad Looting Skillz

From the Gnomish Gnomad’s Camp:

• Powers of Observatiogn
• Gnefarious Pickpocketing
• Torso Awaregness

And from items:

• Natural Born Scrabbler (from Hodgman’s Journal #1: The Lean Times)
• Thrift and Grift (from Hodgman’s Journal #2: Entrepreneurythmics)

Before you start farming in KoL, make sure you complete the island war for the level 12 quest, completing both the Mysterious Island Arena and the Hippy Store as a frat boy. The Nuns are also useful to restore your HP and MP. Use Lord Spookyraven’s ear trumpet and adventure in the Spooky Forest so you can get the Preternatal Greed buff every day, which is a significant boost.

The Castle in the Sky offers one of the best locations to give you meat. The meat drops are excellent and item drops are valuable when sold. Remember to use the Warm Subject Gift Certificates that you collect and to use the Pulverize skill, or Wadbot or Smashbot, to turn your giant needles, rave whistles and wolf masks into wads which you can sell in the mall.

You will want to be well equipped when you start meat farming to maximise your gains. You want to maximize, in order of importance, + meat %, + item % and + combat %.

Familiars: If you have one, the leprechaun-fairy type familiars offer the best return for meat farming, giving you a bonus to both your meat and item drops. At a cost of 2 Mr. Accessories these are expensive. If you don’t have access, use a leprechaun type familiar. These give a good meat drop, which is more valuable that the item drops you will get.

Familiar Equipment: For a leprechaun or leprechaun-fairy type familiar, increasing the familiar weight as much as possible is the key to good drops. The standard +5 familiar weight item for your familiar is good. A Little Box of Fireworks gives you a slightly better item drop rate occasionally and the Tome of Sugar Shummoning lets you summon a Sugar Shield for +10 lbs for 90 adventures per day.

Hat: The Crumpled Felt Fedora from Hobopolis is about the best hat you can get, giving +10lbs to your familiar weight. If you don’t have access to this the Ancient Turtle Shell Helmet is a good alternative. If you need MP regeneration to maintain Disco Nirvana in your combats also the Nurse’s Hat can also be useful.

Shirts: The Origami Pasties are your best shirt here but this is an old Item of the Month so you may not have access to it. Otherwise the duck tape shirt is your best bet. It is worth farming for duck tape until you can make this. Ye Olde Navy Fleece presents another option which you can buy quite cheaply from the Mall.

Weapon: You probably want to use a one-handed weapon to allow you to use an off-hand item. If you can get one, a Bottle Rocket Crossbow is ideal, but if that is too expensive the World’s Smallest Violin is a good weapon which you can pick up easily.

Off-hand: If you can equip an off-hand Bottle Rocket Crossbow with Double-Fisted Skull Smashing, this is one of the best options for meat farming in KoL. The Bag o’Tricks is also an excellent choice, giving you improved drops and restoring MP so you can maintain Disco Nirvana. If these IotM are too pricey or unavailable, the Cup of Infinite Pencils gives a good meat bonus.

Pants: A Poodle Skirt is cheap and just about the best item you will find to fill this slot. There’s little reason not to use it.

Accessories: Grimacite Galoshes, Grimacite gauntlets and an Incredibly Dense Meat Gem are what you really want here, but as these are Raffle prizes and an ultra-rare you will probably not have access to them. The Navel Ring of Navel Gazing is an excellent IotM item for farming. Otherwise, Natty Blue Ascots should be use in all three accessory slots to maximize the meat drops you’ll get from the giants.

There are a number of buffs worth having for your meat farming in KoL as well. Most consumables that increase your drops are not worth buying. You will spend more on them than the return on item drops. It is worth getting some buffs from a buffbot or using the skills yourself:

• Summoning Chamber: Preternatal Greed
• Mysterious Island Arena: Winklered
• Skills: Leash of Linguini, Musk of the Moose
• Clan VIP Room: Billiards Belligerance
• Buffs: Empathy of the Newt, Polka of Plenty, Fat Leon’s Phat Loot Lyric, Carlwather’s Catanta of Confrontation

Simple things that are worth remembering to get as much meat as possible in KoL:

• Your clan may have items in the rumpus room which can give you a little extra meat.
• After completing the war, you can visit the Hippy Store daily for a few thousand extra meat.
• Use a clockwork maid and get as many adventures per day as you can.
• It is worth eating a fortune cookie to check when you can get the semi-rares. These are well worth reselling
• Advanced Cocktailcrafting and Superhuman Cocktailcrafting give you access to more items you can sell on the mall.
• The Clan VIP Room can give you a buff to increase item drops and gives you access to VIP Stuffies that you can sell.
• KoL Mafia is a useful tool that can automate your adventures and maintain buffs for you. This makes your meat farming much easier.