World of Warcraft Will Not Have Sex with You

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The latest statistics tell us that over 11 million men,women and children are subscribers to the Massively Multi-Player On-line Role Playing Game known to the toons as WoW and the general public as World of Warcraft. Experienced video gamers are often found debating their views on WoW versus other PC based games with an intimidating list of reasons why WoW is or is not the end all be all MMORPG. The real question, is World of Warcraft the end of your relationship? 

If you do not fall into the “experienced gamer” category then this article may serve as a warning to those unsuspecting men and women who would be caught uttering “It’s just a game!”.

It was only a short year ago that I found myself uttering those exact words to my “experienced gamer” boyfriend. He often spent 8 to 10 hours a night glued to his computer, chatting on Ventrillo (program that allows you to join chat channels with other players) with his fellow toons (players) organizing Raids (group run challenges) and talking shop. I had no idea how intense this game was and was losing my mind over his bizarre connection and attentiveness to what I considered as just a game. 

I had very little understanding of what the game was about and why it had captured my boyfriend and stolen his affection towards me. I was actually jealous of a game. It became very clear to me after months of fighting that I needed to understand this beast and conquer it. So I purchased the game, paid my $15.00 monthly subscription fee and began my journey into The World of Warcraft.

I would like to preface this by saying that although I was never much of a gamer I still consider myself to be a computer savvy lady and in my day was known to enjoy some Playstation interaction but this…was unlike anything I had experienced.

I was instantly obsessed and it was by no means healthy.

For a short time, it quieted the arguments in my relationship while we could bond over our achievements and acquired pets but I soon realized that our relationship was based more around WoW then anything else.

It became a fully interactive escape from my own life which at that time was lacking excitement and understanding and I fell for it, into it and never again said those dreaded little words : “It’s just a game!”

As a female WoW player and the, now, fiance of a serious gamer I would like to point a few things out.

The Top Ten Reasons Why Women Are Threatened By WoW:

1. The thought that something is more intriguing then they are
2. They don’t understand that most men enjoy killing virtual monsters so they can brag about how bad-ass they are
3. Their WoW playing boyfriend has a new friend in game and she’s a chick and he thinks it’s cool that she digs video games. Enter Jealousy.
4. Your boyfriend will at one time or another break plans he has with you for WoW
5. He will show more excitement about winning a roll on a piece of gear then about dinner plans
6. The man in your life may make mention that he thinks its sexy when a female Blood Elf dances to “Toxic” by Brittany Spears.
7. WoW is a part of his life that you do not understand and are not a part of
8. He may seem like a different person then the one you met and/or fell in love with
9. There is a good chance you will go to bed alone at least 3 nights a week
10. Your life is missing something and that something is your boyfriend.

This is of course not always the case. Some people are able to play WoW in their spare time, enjoy it for what it is and still be a productive member of society and their relationships. There are many people who cannot control their passion for this game and cause pain to the ones that love them. It does sound dramatic but it is true and I know that first hand.

A few months back my boyfriend confessed that he was bored and more so, he didn’t like the hold that this game had on his life. So he sold his two accounts (for very good money, this is against the user agreement!) and took a break. I continued to play for a couple of hours each evening feeling a little pissed that he got me involved in this and then backs out but he understood how I enjoyed my play time.

For a man that finds himself splitting his attentions between WoW and his girlfriend there are three basic ways to remedy this situation:

1. Convert your girlfriend into a WoW playing enthusiast. Keep her happy by helping her and giving her in game gifts!
2. Quit the game.
3. Get a grip on yourself! Take her concerns seriously and take a step back.

At the end of any day, no video game will rub your back when your sick, have sex with you or clean up after you.

For the women who are reading this article thinking my boyfriend is a nerdy loser, I challenge you to play a little WoW and get back to me.

Hobbies are important to have, they stimulate your mind, offer release from every day stresses and help you build a well rounded life. When a hobby crosses over into an obsession you are in danger of potentially causing negative juju.

I want to hear from the men who play World of Warcraft, the women who love them and the cynics. I dare you all to admit that it’s not, “Just a game”