The Last Spartan Episodes 1-4

The last spartan to defend the earth……..and he’s dumb.

COM: This is Command calling Spartan HC13. Do you copy?

HC13: I copy command.

COM: Alright since you’re the last Spartan…

HC13: Wait!?! What?!?! I’m the last Spartan?! How?!?

COM: They kind of blew up the planet the rest of the Spartans were on, HC13.

HC13: Oh….but I have no combat skills whatsoever!

COM: WE know…but since you’re the last Spartan, this mission is yours.

HC13: Fine. What’s the mission?

COM: Just come over to Command as fast as you can. Wait….disregard that last order. We’ll just send a Falcon since we know you’ll get lost.

HC13: Yeah, that’s probably true.

COM: Command out.

HC13: Wait! When you say they blew up…

COM: Yes that means your dog too! Now Command out!

HC13: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh well. I’ll get a new dog!

[Falcon enters]

Pilot: Get on HC13. I’m  here to take you to Command.

HC13: Alright. But watch out for Covenant plasma launchers! This place is full of them!

[Get’s on]

Pilot: Wait, what?

HC13: Take us away!

[Falcon lifts off]

[Lock-on alarm activates]

Pilot: Aw crap.

[Fades to black]

EPISODE 2

[Falcon lands while on fire]

Pilot: Never, ever again.

HC13: didn’t you think it was fun?

Pilot: Fun? FUN? You think getting hit by plasma mortars is FUN?!?!?

HC13: Yeah. I never get to see this kind of action. My former CO said I had to do desk work since I was such a bad pilot.

Pilot: So how did?…..

General: No time for that now pilot. Get that bird over to the garage for repairs.

Pilot: Sir! Yes, sir!

[Pilot gets in Falcon and flies off]

General: And you, HC13, you are coming with me for debriefing.

HC13: Okay!

General: Now HC13, you are the very last Spartan…

[HC13 looks at a Spartan Laser]

HC13: What does that do?

General: That is not for you to touch.

[Looks at a Grenade Launcher]

HC13: What about this?

General: Don’t touch that.

[Walks over to a Banshee]

HC13: And this?

General: Oh, you can touch that all you want, just don’t get in it.

[Goes behind Banshee and gets in]

HC13: WEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

General: I told you not to get in!

[Starts shooting plasma]

General: Stop that and get out!

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