Wii Fit: How I Learned to Love the Wii Balance Board

I’m sorry, but the title above is misleading, based on how I’ve loved Wii Fit and Balance Board before I even got it in the mail a few weeks back. So if any of you feel betrayed by my oh so horrible lie, then please and by no means feel limited in how you may voice your complaints as I won’t give a shit *Laughs*.

My heart broken, body crumbled up on the floor, all I could do was swear at Wii Fit for all it was worth (but while this doesn’t paint a overall positive image of my love for Wii Fit, you just need to hang on a little bit). The only thing flickering in my mind (Besides the torrent of hate spewing out of me) came in the clear and I do mean this; I was enjoying the exercise involved, that’s right I was enjoying the pain coursing through me, I was enjoying the undeniable thought of “If I keep this up I might actually become a healthier person for it” and by a chance, I have after only a few weeks (About two and a half to be precise, but who’s counting). I’ve managed to lose a nice 3 pounds off my (If I’m honest) roundish figure and how you ask that I as a gamer could possibly put myself through the ordeal of using a gaming console as a source of exercise? How indeed? Considering Nintendo had made it more about the exercise and less about the little trips to the “Mini Game Market”. I could right now blabber on about how it works or I could present a simple explanation for each category presented below…..I think the below works best.

Yoga:

Let’s see, we have a Yoga instructor (I went with the woman for this) She’s nice for someone who doesn’t move her lips and asks of you to pretend she’s your reflection (I can honestly say, by doing that I feel more attractive already). You go through a brief training session in which she makes it sound easy, but when you enter the actual move (The first few you have to chose from, are freaking simple, but be warned later on they will grow  more difficult as you progress with unlocking more Yoga moves). The whole experience at first can feel slightly annoying, but you’ll be glad once you’re sure of one thing, when you say without a problem “I’m in there”.

Strength Training (Or to be direct Muscular stuff):

When toddling along to the “Strength Training” I was pleasantly surprised to find out that my instructor from Yoga was also my instructor for this. Myself a gentlemen, I gladly took her directions as I cursed the game for what it considered a push up (Their concept of a push up involves up and down then left to right; If you don’t get what I mean, I should include a diagram at the end). To note my exact words at one point were “OH COME ON!!!”

Aerobics:

This is where work. Feels like “Work” from how you can “Jog” on the spot, while travelling across an island completely populated by your miniature ill formed avatars of Wii-ness (Most of the one’s to populate my island are composed mostly of Hitler, so obviously you can shout “Fuck! Hitler has returned” if you feel the need to sound like a completely and utter loony). Hula-hooping has become something of my favourite daily activity from how much (Fun) exercise I get from it. One of the odd things to come out of this area of the game is their weird perception of stepping exercises count towards fitness.

My overall experience of Aerobics amounts to a pure and simple enjoyment of the jogging, simply from the fact that when I am jogging, I can have the soundtrack of Dune blasting behind me (Don’t judge me on liking Dune from the 80’s….The story sucked ass, but the set design, soundtrack, cast and costume design were excellent).

Balance Games:

Balance games for me were less about the whole “Gain a better balance” and more directly connected to “Mini Game Market”. The point as the little foot fetish loving bastard who can’t get enough then to tell you “Your balance is off by 1 percent” that must mean you’re likely to collapse from such a lack of balance. Having someone act all high and might (Regardless of the fact that this is Wii Balance Board I’m referring to) while it can’t even do anything else but go “OW” the moment you step onto it, does get annoying after a while, but that doesn’t stop me from complimenting the games ability to have some very; how would you say? A Super Monkey Ball feel that really shines from how responsive the whole thing is, from ether dressed as a penguin, being smashed in the head by a panda head (Don’t ask?) or even a game where you must tightrope between two buildings while bystanders cheer away for your death (This being funny from how it can range from Hitler cheering away to your own family *Sad face*).

Additional: Story

Simple fact….there is none.

Overall:

If you’re looking for a reason to play on your Wii while in need of an excuse to do so, Wii Fit is the game for you.

Wii Fit: How I learnt to love the Wii Balance Board:

I’m sorry, but the title above is misleading, based on how I loved Wii Fit and Balance Board before I even got it in the mail a few weeks back. So if any of you feel betrayed by my oh so horrible lie, but please and by no means feel limited in how you may voice your complaints as I won’t give a shit *Laughs*.

My heart broken, body crumbled up on the floor, all I could do was swear at Wii Fit for all it was worth (but while this doesn’t paint a overall positive image of my love for Wii Fit you just need to hang on a little bit). The only thing flickering in my mind (Besides the torrent of hate spewing out of me) came in the clear and I do mean this; I was enjoying the exercise involved, that’s right I was enjoying the pain coursing through me, I was enjoying the undeniable thought of “If I keep this up I might actually become a healthier person for it” and by a chance I have after only a few weeks (About two and a half to be precise, but who’s counting) I’d managed to lose a nice 3 pounds off my (If I’m honest) roundish figure. How you ask that I a gamer could possibly put myself through the ordeal of using a gaming console as a source of exercise? How indeed? Considering Nintendo had made it more about the exercise and less about the little trips to the “Mini Game Market”. I could right now blabber on about how it works or I could present a simple explanation for each category present below…..I think the below works best.

Yoga:

Let’s see, we have a Yoga instructor (I went with the woman for this) She’s nice for someone who doesn’t move her lips and asks of you to pretend she’s your reflection (I can honestly say, by doing that I feel more attractive already). You go through a brief training session in which she makes it sound easy, but one you enter the actual move (The first few you have to chose from are freaking simple, but be warned later on they will grow slightly more difficult as you progress with unlocking more moves). The whole experience at first can feel slightly annoying, but you’ll be glad once you’re sure of one thing, when you say without a problem “I’m in there”

Strength Training (Or to be direct Muscular stuff):

When toddling along to the “Strength Training” I was pleasantly surprised to find out that she was also my instructor for it. Myself a gentlemen I gladly took her directions as I cursed the game at what it considered as a push up (Their concept of a push up involves up and down then left to right; If you don’t get what I mean, I should include a diagram at the end). To note my exact words at one point were “OH COME ON!!!”

Aerobics:

This is where work, feels like “Work” from how you can “Jog” on the spot, while travelling a island completely populated by your miniature ill formed avatars Wii-ness (Most of the one’s to populate my island are composed mostly of Hitler, so obviously you can’t shout “Fuck! Hitler has returned” if you feel the need to sound like a completely and utter loony). Hula-hooping has become something of my favourite daily activity from how much (Fun) exercise I get from it. One of the odd things to come out of this area of the game is their weird perception of stepping exercises count towards fitness.

My overall experience of Aerobics amounts to a pure and simple enjoyment of the jogging, simply from the fact that when I am jogging, I can have the soundtrack of Dune blasting behind me (Don’t judge me on liking Dune from the 80’s….The story sucked ass, but the set design, soundtrack, cast and costume design were excellent).

Balance Games:

Balance games for me, were less about the whole “Gain a better balance” and more directly connected to “Mini Game Market”. The point as the little foot fetish loving bastard who can’t get enough then to tell you “Your balance is off by 1 percent, this must mean you’re likely to collapse from such a lack of balance. Having someone act all high and might (Regardless of the fact that this is Wii Balance Board I’m referring to) while it can’t even do anything else but go “OW” the moment you step onto it, does get annoying after a while, but that doesn’t stop me from complimenting the games ability to have some very; how would you say? A Super Monkey Ball feel that really shines from how responsive the whole thing is from ether dressed as a penguin to being smashed in the head by a panda head (Don’t ask?) or even a game where you must tightrope between two buildings while bystanders cheer away for your death (This being funny from how it can range from Hitler cheering away to your own family).

Additional: Story

Simple fact….there is none.

Overall:

If you’re looking for a reason to play on your Wii while in need of an excuse to do so, Wii Fit is the game for you.