What to Say When Being There for a Friend

Many people end up saying the wrong things when trying to help out a friend, so here are some tips to get someone through a situation.

1. Don’t Ask

“Don’t ask about what?” Well, if you know what’s wrong beforehand, the best thing to do is to just not ask them about the situation. If you are really curious, say something about how they look like something is up or they aren’t being their usual self. If they lie, don’t pressure them for information about the struggles they may be going through. Who knows. They might come around and want to talk to you about it later on.

2. Empathy is the Key

Put yourself in their shoes…seriously. Don’t just think about what it would be like if you were in that situation. Evaluate every little detail and put yourself in that environment to the fullest and then think about how you would handle it. To completely help someone, you have to be them and understand exactly what they are going through. While hearing the right words might fix sadness temporarily, actually doing your best to know exactly what the other person is feeling like means more to them than you may know.

3. Offer Suggestions or Crack a Joke

For breakups, suggestions are always given…except they sound something like “He doesn’t deserve you anyway” or “She gets around, so I wouldn’t feel bad.” Those are so cliche and don’t have any meaning to them. Try to recall a situation in which you dealt with the same thing. If not, try and find some completey geniune words to say. Maybe something like “I know that this is really rough, but I am here for you and always will be. If you ever need something, do not hesitate to let me know.” Something like that.

Or, if you are not a touchy person like that and prefer instantly lighting up the mood, try to change the subject or crack a joke…just make it appropriate.

So, next time you’re helping someone, make sure you think before you speak as that is going to make a huge difference in the long run!

About the author:
Name: Jalen Massey
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4 Comments
  1. Posted December 14, 2012 at 3:04 am

    Thanks for this post, an area of my life that is so hard for me in helping others…good post.

  2. Posted December 14, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Interesting tips. Many people say the wrong things in this type of situation, and end up making it worse for their friend.

  3. Posted December 14, 2012 at 8:33 pm

    I’ve found that it’s often best just to be there and say little. Let your friend do the talking but be a good listener.

  4. Posted December 29, 2012 at 2:34 pm

    Sometimes you don’t have to talk about it but just be there.

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