Pork Chopp’n..

My wife’s pork chops were so good… I ate them, took out the trash, washed all the dishes and, I even slapped that girl from up the street.

Have you ever wanted something to taste so good than one bite would make you forget your name? Well, Man…! That’s what happened to me. I bit down. Then it felt like my heart stopped and a little piece of me went to heaven. I just could not stop eating. That flavor was so good, in my mouth, that I even forgot my own name. When finished my food, I decide to take the trash out, got to the dumpster, I lifted my arm to throw the trash into the garbage But, stopped! When I realized, it was not the trash bag in my hand. I threw the bag into the garbage and stuck the Smartphone back in my pocket. Then, turned around and when back to the house. As soon as, I got thru the front door, the phone rang. I picked up and it was the girl from up street, with the three cats, three kids and, eight cars. She told me that she wanted 600 Dollars for child support. $600… What!!!  I don’t have SIX HUNDREAD DOLLAS!  I never even touched that wrinkly old hag. So, next I tried going over there with some of my wife pork’s chops and talk this out. When I got over there, she came to the door then, lead me to her kitchen table, to talk. One hour and thirty minutes went by and, she still keep telling me that, I met her in some bar one day named nips, four weeks ago and, that I brought her a drink and, that I had few myself. She told me that, I was so wasted that, I took her to a hotel, up the street from the bar and, the week after, she realized she was pregnant with my child. The only reason she brought it up, was because she wanted to buy her son A “Nintendo-Wii-Game-System” for Christmas and that she was, going to sew me for every dime in my bank account, if I did not come up with the money by the next Friday (Six days away). I just could not stop laughing … I smacked the hell-out of her, and went home to my wife, to eat more pork chops. As soon as  I got to my steps, The laid from up the street (Ms. Erica Mars) Whips out a D.N.A. paper and she was right but, why  can’t remember any of it.

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