Who Was That Guy on Route 30? – Johto Diaries

Smug prick.

So I was hanging out on Route 30 right past Cherrygrove, just minding my own business, watching as the bugs scurry by. Then, out of nowhere, this guy comes up from behind me and demands that we have a battle, right then and there, doesn’t even give me a choice. Now, I like bug Pokemon. I collect them because they fascinate me. Apparently this guy gathered that from my clothes and sent out a Cyndaquil as his first Pokemon. Real f***ing classy, jerkoff! My poor bug Pokemon didn’t stand a chance. One after another he mercilessly ordered his Cyndaquil to spit fire onto all of my Pokemon. They dropped like flies (there’s a bit of Bug Catcher humor for ya!). 

After all was said and done, he still didn’t leave me alone! He then demanded that I give him money for his so-called “victory.” That look on his face convinced me that I had better comply, or else he might do something drastic. So I gave him all of my money, all of the money I had in the world. I didn’t get to eat anything that day. I was planning on buying something on my way home, but not, this asshole had to have ALL of my money. It wasn’t even that much. The weirdest part was when he made me swear to say something about his new Running Shoes every time he passed by. What the actual f***? Now every time this bastard (apparently a literal bastard, I’ve never seen his father) passes by, I have to say the same thing every time about his… shoes? I mean, I’m not going to go against it because I’m honestly afraid for my life. He also said if I’m not there whenever he passes by, he’ll seek me out and do to me what he did to my poor bugs. 

So now I just have to stay here forever and hope that some day he accidentally slips off a cliff-side or gets swallowed up by a whirlpool. I hear he’s planning on humiliating every gym leader the same way, and even has the audacity to say he’s going to do it to the Champion! If somebody doesn’t stop him soon, I worry what’ll happen to all of us. So please, if you’re reading this and you come across a trainer with a blank stare, wearing shorts, a red jacket, and a hat that kind of resembles an Ultra Ball, please, PLEASE stop him! Do everything it takes to make sure he can never battle again. I’m getting really tired standing here, having to compliment his running shoes every time he comes by, and I’m afraid of what he’ll do if I fall asleep. 

Oh no. I can see him off in the distance on a bicycle…

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